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Take your dog on an ultra-luxe staycation

Treat your pet at the Rosewood Beijing – you both deserve it

What's the one thing about a staycation that sucks? Leaving your four-legged flatmate at home. With kids, it's kind of the point, but who wants to get away from their dog? At least that's what my human pals tell me. I'll believe it.

Hi, my name's Engels and I'm a seven-and-a-half kilo Beagle. No, this is not AA. I'm going to tell you about staying at the Rosewood Beijing. It's off-the-chain. Who better to give the real scoop on dog-staycations than a beagle? Pretty much no one.

First off, the humans I live with had their wits about them enough to get wind of the limited-time 'Pamper Your Pet' package. Our house is boring, so we packed our bags and lived it up in a Manor Suite for the weekend. As you do.

Now, getting on with it... what's the play-by-play? First, check-in. As soon as my paws hit the marble floor, I knew these were the surroundings I'd been destined for... not that crappy two-bedroom in the 1990s loufang. I brought my rabies tag and dog registration card which needed to be scanned along with the human registration cards – or whatever those booklets are. My PAs had to sign a waiver that claimed I wouldn't do anything naughty or spread itchy pests about. Or at least, if I did, then they'd be the responsible ones. I'm useless. I pretty much just do this if I get caught doing anything bad:

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My look after eating two unsanctioned baguettes

Anyways, they initialed the right parts. So to the room we went.

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The suite had been outfitted with a few things for me, like a bowl full of biscuits and chewy T-R-E-A-Ts. Dope. The Rosewood exclusively serves Laoshan spring water. To be honest, typically I prefer a chilled can of Watson's soda water – but NBD, I'm easy-going.

Water's water, just a refreshing beverage for crashing around the room and checking the new digs out.

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A huge bed! (Move over guys, I'm definitely not sticking to the tiny dog bed. I DGAF if it's cute or not. I'm a 1,200-thread-count-Egyptian-cotton-kinda lady.)

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Hell yeahhhh.

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Okay, let's get down to the pampering. The Rosewood pet pampering consultant is Mr Song. He's a total sweetheart and rolled up with an American Tourist suitcase filled with everything, mostly American-imported products, to get my look totally on point. Yeah, there was a terrifying vacuum-cleaner-esque apparatus, but hey, I'll try anything once.

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First, a wash in the massive tub. This was super thorough and had several steps, including some sort of conditioning treatment that left me ultra soft.

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Jasmine and I shared a tender moment. (Oh right, Jasmine – she was our 24-hour butler for the stay. We went for, like, 20 million walks together and really bonded... Okay, it was actually three in total. All-day butler service only comes with the suite-level rooms, but still, the pet-cation package comes with up to five walks a day.)

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After the bath, it was straight to the luggage shelf for drying. I met the vacuum cleaner. I was still not convinced.

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But that hair-dryer treatment? Soooooo down.

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Ooo yeah, the butt.

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The treatment is super comprehensive. Ears were next. Mr Song cringed when he saw them. But the dude cannot be fazed and just called in for more Q-tip reinforcements.

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Nails were next.

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And I was like, 'Girl, please. If you don't have my shade of OPI, then I don't want any of any colour.' So I settled for a simple cut, file and buff. Mr Song even trimmed the long hairs between the pads of my paws. Five-star treatment all the way.

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Pampering's exhausting so I caught up on my CNN for the rest of the afternoon. There was a special on Kim Jong-un. Apparently, him and Dennis Rodman are pretty much BFFs – who knew?

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Later, I took a walk around the grounds when my PAs were getting hour-long massages at the spa on the sixth floor. Do you guys know about elevators? I'd heard of them but first-floor canines don't get much opportunity. Let me drop some knowledge: they are kind of crazy.

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Then is was time to eat! Surprise, this is my all-time favourite activity. The chefs at Bistrot B have even designed a special menu for pets and it looks like this:

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Plus, we eat for free.

What I had:

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What my combination flatmate/personal assistant/male ayi had:

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Just kidding! I actually ate the bowl of chicken with oatmeal, obvs. And carrots. But I didn't eat those. Boiled carrots, eww – amirite? Really though, the food is quite good and served my favourite way: in prodigious quantities.

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Woof. It's a rough life.

I've always been super jealous of my roommates going on staycations. This just confirmed it. Beagle-approved.

The Rosewood Beijing is a dog- and cat-friendly venue year-round. This limited-time 'Bring Your Best Friend' package will be offered until September 30, 2015. The package starts from 2,200RMB, plus tax and service, per night (Premier room), and includes professional grooming for the pet, up to five walks per day, complimentary pet menus, and two hour-long Sense spa signature massages for owners. Dogs and cats are permitted. Packages are subject to availability.

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