NSFW: Beijing's hottest food porn

Set your browser to incognito, some of these dishes will make you blush

The following plates are so raunchy, so devilishly delicious they’re borderline NSFW. From all over the city, we present the most indecent dishes – some not so nutritious – that are guaranteed to get your blood-pumping and heart a thumping.
Trio of Pistachio, Opera Bombana

Trio of Pistachio, Opera Bombana

Fancy a threesome?


Opera Bombana’s sweet, blessed trinity is a textural aria of its own. Chef Marino D’Antonio presents the heady nut in three ways – caramelised, creamed and ice-creamed – finishing with a triumphant scattering of feather-light gold leaf.

15-storey Whopper, Burger King

15-storey Whopper, Burger King

Some cheap S&M

It seems unjust to lump this tower of despair in with the city’s finest comestibles, but hey, different people are into different things. Get yourself to the King, order a Whopper, and stack it with as many extra patties as you like at 9RMB each. This succulent beefcake measures in at 15 beef storeys tall, and is bound together by the globular shame of 15 slices of all-American cheese.

Wok-fried scallop, Jing Yaa Tang

Wok-fried scallop, Jing Yaa Tang

Fireplay for two


Who doesn’t like a sense of danger served with their scallops? Torched by the distinctive heat that only flaming baijiu can muster, these plump white medallions cosy up with mushrooms and coriander and are served in the half-shell amidst a scene of onyx-black stones and blue fire in true Jing Yaa Tang style.

Porterhouse, Wolfgang's Steakhouse

Porterhouse, Wolfgang's Steakhouse

A juicy, mature bite


New York’s premier meatery arrived in Beijing this March with a dry-ageing room brimming with its signature cuts. This hunk, a 28-day-aged Porterhouse for two or more, weighs 1,000 metric grams, and is guaranteed to arrive swimming in its own hot bubbling juices. Growl.

Steak tartare, Bistrot B

Steak tartare, Bistrot B

Raw meat


Seasoned, oil-slicked raw beef, runny egg yolk and only the finest of Spanish anchovies. Served with crisp fries and toast. When you need your flesh fresh from the kill, go see your boy Jarrod Verbiak, chef de cuisine at Bistrot B. It doesn’t get any more primal.

Beef Wellington, The Georg

Beef Wellington, The Georg

Hardcore weekend fun


Enveloped in a pinky-width of golden house-made pastry and duxelles, and served with liquid foie gras and ribbons of table-shaved truffles, the off-menu beef Wellington at Beijing’s Danish high-hus The Georg is a wicked once-in-a while for naughty boys and girls. Call ahead to order.

Superfredo, Sureno

Superfredo, Sureno

The stuff of fantasies


The extraordinary coral-like appearance of chef de cuisine Talib Hudda’s strawberry semi-fredo is a sensual stroke of genius at Sureno. Dense nubs of chocolate cake bring the substance and are balanced by a sharp balsamic hazelnut sauce and berries.

Claypot rice, Cai Xi Yuan

Claypot rice, Cai Xi Yuan

XXX-rated


The Four Seasons’ Cantonese restaurant turns out stunning plates of decadence, including this traditional Chinese dish served up with Australian Wagyu beef and winter black truffle for a hot threesome of flavours.


Country Bunker Chicken Brunch, Great Leap Brewing

Country Bunker Chicken Brunch, Great Leap Brewing

Burnin' for some beastiality?


Well spank our naughty little rumps, we ain’t never seen the dirty bird looking this fine. This chicken – available at both the #45 and #12 brewpubs – is all kinds of flavoursome: salty, crunchy, juicy in the right places and served with some formidable home-style biscuits, sides and fixin’s.

Fried lobster tail, Mio

Fried lobster tail, Mio

Hot models


Chasing tail just got a whole lot less caddish. From Beijing’s most ostentatious fine dining institute, Mio, comes this bona fide fried lobster tail.

Burned mackerel, TRB Hutong

Burned mackerel, TRB Hutong

Fetishise this


No restaurant in Beijing observes the pageantry of fine dining quite like TRB. The mackerel here is burnt and accompanied by ponzo, yuzu and radish, and if it weren’t for gravity would be hung on our best wall.

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